Sunday, March 6, 2011

Excuse My Exasperation, But...

You have got to be kidding me. 

Accompanying the best literature out there on exercise during pregnancy are the photos below.

I would understand if the newest editions of these books were pre-2000, but they are not. How does a book from 2003 feature a cover shot of a Kathy Ireland lookalike in shoulder pads? This is the cover of Exercising Through Your Pregnancy, arguably the most progressive writing you can currently find on the subject. Great book, sad pictures. 

Ways this picture is outmoded:
  • Most women with long hair don't let it flow down their back while working out. If I do that, I come home with a rat's nest. 
  • Again, shoulder pads. 
  • Pink, of course. Just in case the exercise makes you forget how feminine I am. 
  • Hand weights? There is this one woman I see on River Road sometimes who power walks with ankle weights, but overall I think science concluded a while back that you're probably better off anatomically just running and supporting the weight of your own body. 
  • The Spandex is accurate, but floral?
  • And I think I spy Reebok. No joke, the only place Reebok is big these days is Asia. I read it somewhere.
Where are the images of strong women--who happen to be pregnant--that women of today can relate to? Finding photos of fit, pregnant women taken in the last 20 twenty years is certainly not impossible. I'm not signing up or anything, but let's at least ditch the scrunchies. 

Also: does Fit and Pregnant really think I don't know how to stretch my calf muscles? I know these books are written with Everywoman in mind, but after finally finding books on pregnancy and exercise, it's frustrating to find pages wasted on showing you how to do things we learned in 1st grade gym class. 

Speaking of which, I distinctly remember having a pair of those Reeboks in 1994. 

But my personal favorite: 

Oh! Is that how you do it?

Yes, with the rapidly-approaching 3rd trimester upon me, things are getting a little harder to haul. And when I start to look like the very pregnant woman in this picture, I will diligently use the ladder.

But would anyone think of doing anything else? If I'm trying to exit a pool at 38 weeks pregnant I'm pretty sure I'm not going to run the risk of beaching myself on the deck by not using the ladder.

I'm not trying to sound like a know-it-all, especially because pregnancy truly is transformative and does force one to slow down. (Can you say Nap Time?)

And I'm grateful to be pregnant in a time when it's not taboo to say as much out loud. All I'm saying is that pregnancy doesn't make you stupid. According to Micah, it only makes a certain someone sassier.